I accidentally burped into my bong.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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