At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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