I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
