he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
