So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Let's get the cat blown out
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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