He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
