did you get engaged???
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
