The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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