Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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