He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize