return my video game
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Text me some of your sweat
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
