was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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