He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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