i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
