This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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