Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
