were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize