if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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