Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize