somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
