Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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