He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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