I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize