YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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