I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
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