Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I understand Curling. That high.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have tasted many bathrooms
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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