I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
