Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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