No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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