i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
