My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
