haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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