ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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