think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
