Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
whose parrot is this?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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