i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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