I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize