Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I wish you could order shots online.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
