i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
