don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
