I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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