I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
