What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
