let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
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she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
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Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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