Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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