you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
