so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
