you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize