Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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