You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
