Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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