these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I CAN MOONWALK!
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize