I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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