He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize