One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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