I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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