shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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